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1. Short Posts 2. Long Posts 3. Videos 4. Ask the Expert 5. Glossary 6. Quick Tips

The Conflict Connection: Figuring out What Makes Your Difficult Ex Tick

Joe was at his wits end. Ever since his divorce he tried to do everything he could think of to get along with his ex, Maria. It seemed like no matter how hard he tried nothing worked. While they would go through periods where things were fine, it usually didn’t last for long. Eventually Maria […]

Divorcing Homeowners – When There’s No Equity to Divide

If you obtained financing at the peak of the market, positive equity may be years away. You still might need to liquidate loans beyond the divorce scenario.
(5 min 19 sec read)

Top Causes of Infidelity

Infidelity is more common than divorce in a marriage or partnership. As we know, the divorce rate is no way past 50 percent, and in some states 65 percent. Infidelity in a marriage, when it is discovered or revealed, is one of the most painful experiences that one can imagine. To think of the one […]

Divorce Isn’t Fun – You Need to Take Care of Yourself

You’ve come this far, why not venture just a little bit farther? Divorce is not fun; I think we know that! There are so many details to attend to, other people to think about, and just general daily grind kind of stuff that needs to be handled. It may become tempting to overlook self-care. In […]

Dear Dr Jann- I’m Co-Parenting with Someone Impossible | coParenter

Dear Dr. Jann: I get the impression from most of the articles you write that you think that all parents should coParent after a break-up.  What if you can’t?  What if your ex is a screaming narcissist and everything is all about him? At the beginning, he was charming and charismatic.  As an ex he’s […]

4 Steps to Overcome the Crisis of Divorce

Divorce or separation is a crisis — a crisis of change: change in family, identity, roles, security and dreams for the future. However, even during this crisis, we are called to make important decisions. How we make decisions can be influenced significantly by the way we think and feel. Like any crisis, divorce/separation unleashes potential […]

Helping Your Child Cope With Stress

Transitional objects and transitional affiliations often emerge and disappear spontaneously over the course of development, taking on tremendous meaning for a period and then falling into disuse. A one-year, stained Dalmatian is a three-year-old’s must-have companion at bedtime but, months later, is just another among a hundred torn and tattered plush pets. A first-grader refuses […]

coParent Negotiation Tactic – Humility

Prior to heading to Tokyo to negotiate with Japanese customers, I attended a three-day class called Doing Business with the Japanese. During this time I learned an important tactic to use during negotiation with anyone – an ex, a lawyer, a boss. On the very first day, a woman walked into the conference room and […]

Easy Breezy coParent Communication

Negotiations are messy. It helps to have anchors—ways of grounding yourself. Two of the best are breathing and pausing. Breathing  Most of us pay little attention to our breath, except when we lose it. We usually breathe shallowly, just enough to fill our lungs. Breathing fully from our bellies helps us to maintain equilibrium. Breathing from […]

Happy Summer! – How to Keep All Your Kids Busy (In a Good Way)

Summertime is here. It’s a fun but busy time of the year for families. Along with graduations and vacations, the most significant change is the children are out of school for the summer. The family’s normal routine will be disrupted. A change in the children’s schedule will likely cause changes to your normal custody schedule.  While […]

Dating a Single Parent Can Be Challenging If Boundaries Are Not Set | coParenter

Dear Dr. Jann: What’s a reasonable amount for contact between my boyfriend and his ex-wife? They have joint custody of their 6-year-old daughter. One week at Mom’s, one week at Dad’s. I understand the joint birthday parties and discussions about doctor’s appointments, but why must they talk two or three times a day about things […]

Supporting Yourself After Divorce

Many families are two-income households, so having or getting a job is not an issue. However, there are also plenty of families where one spouse is staying at home full-time or part-time to raise their family. Even if no kids are in the mix, there is a chance that the job you currently have is […]

Terms coParents Need To Know

You may be new coParents, or very experienced. Either way, here are some terms that are great to know first hand.

The Dangers of coParents’ “All Or Nothing” Thinking

coParents need to be aware of the dangers of their “all or nothing thinking,” which can be passed down to their children. This story is about remembering to always put your child first and put your own issues aside, no matter what the situation. Especially if it regards child custody. And the importance of not […]

Listening and Responding With Patience

In negotiations, responding to anger—or any strong emotion— with patience can often lead to a successful resolution. This is one of the lessons of the multiparty negotiations that culminated in the signing of the Northern Ireland Peace Accord, known as the Belfast Peace Agreement, in 1998. These negotiations were led by George J. Mitchell, the […]