If you are considering saving your marriage, good for you! In spite of the fact that I am divorced, I really do believe in the importance and sacredness of those vows.
I am not an advocate for divorce; I am an advocate for people being the best versions of themselves. Sometimes, that includes divorce. Only in the face of the impossible was I willing to let my vows go.
Keep in mind, though, that you cannot save your marriage alone. There will be a considerable amount of work involved, and both of you must be ready and willing to participate in the rebuild.
One of the most successful ways to get your marriage back on track is to seek outside help. An outside observer will be incredibly useful in seeing the behaviors you both have gone blind to. Impartiality is critical, for both your actions and your situation.
There are as many different styles of help as there are therapists, coaches and clergy. Make certain that the person you choose is someone you both trust and feel comfortable with, that their ultimate goal is to do what is best for you as individuals as well as a couple, and that they are truly qualified to help on this journey.
About Lori Denman-Underhill
