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Back to School: Co-parents Choosing their Child’s School

My daughter will be in high school next year and I’m looking for a smaller STEM school. Her dad is set on one school, and we don’t agree.
(1 min 48 sec read)

Dr. Judith Bin-Nun, PhD
An experienced Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT), Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor (LPCC), and Clinical Child Psychologist Ph.D.
On July 25, 2019 | ,

Question: 

My daughter will be in high school next year and I’m looking for a smaller STEM school. Her dad is set on one school, and we don’t agree. I’m trying to avoid court, but it looks like it’s heading that way. Any tips to help us pick together and what’s best for our daughter?

Answer:

Thank you for your important question. I have many questions before giving a cogent response.

  • Do you and your ex share equal legal decision making for your daughter? I’m not an attorney.
  • Have you and your ex visited with her school guidance counselor together to hear about the available High School STEM programs locally in your PRESENT school system?
  • Is your daughter’s counselor recommending one particular school and program over others?
  • Have you visited/toured the program/s together with your Ex and posed thoughtful questions to the educational professionals who are in charge of the programs?
  • Did you see the school program in action with students presently engaged? This is a great way to learn and make a studied opinion.

Before visiting programs, you and your ex should come up with a criteria list for a good STEM PROGRAM and a 1-5 point rating scale (1=poor and 5=excellent) so this issue becomes more objective.

Compare ratings after you both see all available schools/programs.

I hope you consider these questions and try to become a positive co-parenting Team to benefit your daughter’s education. You could discover the best STEM Program ever, however, if a child/teen experiences parents fighting over the school placement, well nothing becomes important except negativity and judgmental behavior. The Program is tainted!

High School should be a positive, well thought out positive choice with two parents caring deeply about their child’s needs. Don’t forget social and emotional considerations, as well as academics, are what counts.

Good luck.

Dr. Judy Bin-Nun PhD,  LMFT, LPCC

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