Easing Conflict With Your coParents
Conflict with coParents may be avoided by following certain advice. This includes the wise rule of agreeing to disagree and talking things out. If arguments are occurring with a coParent and a child is interested in learning how to diminish tension, there are tips on how to do so.
Looking at what causes conflict is the first step. This may include any of the following: the child is seeking increased independence; family is changing that may include divorce, separation, a new infant in the family, or moving; the child feels like their opinion doesn’t matter and/or she/he is not being heard; high expectations from the parent towards the child, which may be unrealistic.
Talking it out is a good first step. Try to do so when emotions are calm and not escalated. Share feelings openly and honestly and try not to judge each other (agreeing to disagree here). Accepting the other’s point of view is key, and aiming to listen with an open ear and open mind helps. Discuss compromises and try to uphold those and other promises.
When in the heat of argument, try to take step back, take deep breaths and try to calm down before responding. Taking time to think about forgiveness and setting goals works.
There is always a little give and take in any relationship, the coParent and child is no different. Just remember that as a child, your coParents care deeply and just worry about you. Setting their minds at ease in time, may allow for more freedom.
About Lori Denman-Underhill
