Before you take that left turn down Divorce Lane, it’s important to make the formal decision to end your marriage. Why? When you react, rather than decide, you end up with regrets.
You end up wishing you had done some things differently. You have less consciousness about what you are doing, and it will come back to bite you!
Let’s take a look at some things that go into making a conscious decision to divorce:
Don’t make the decision in the aftermath of a big blowout. Words that are spoken in the heat of the moment can:
- Never be taken back. Screaming, “I want a divorce” will destroy trust and respect if you don’t really mean it. Plus, let’s face it, screaming anything is never good!
- Be taken as not heartfelt and thus be dismissed. You don’t want to be the boy (or girl) who cried wolf!
- Make you feel reactive and powerless rather than in control of yourself and empowered.
Do consider the consequences of your decision. The ripple effect of divorce is HUGE! It will impact not only you and your spouse but also any kids you have, your family, his family, your friends, your finances, your living situation, your faith, your possessions, your pets, etc.
- Will you miss your in-laws?
- How will you feel when some of your friends choose your spouse over you?
- What will it be like to be single? Dating?
- Are you prepared for some loneliness?
- If you have kids, have you thought about what it means to be a single parent? Or have limited/restricted access to your children?
About Lori Denman-Underhill
