Intelligence

A child of divorce is watching and hearing their parents argue. A lot. So much that this child may begin to ponder – where has the parenting gone? If parents spend a lot of time arguing and sharing that information in front of the child, such as responsibilities, the child may begin to feel as […]

Divorce of the parents brings on hidden stress, compacted within coParents and children alike. We are all trying our hardest to be strong and in most cases, hide the truth and pain from others. For this reason, it is imperative to watch ourselves as coParents. The way we act, speak and most importantly, the tone of […]

There have always been and always will be threats in the world around us. Some threats are as unlikely as being struck by lightning; others are as common as car accidents. In order to let your children go, even briefly, you’ll need them to be well prepared but not nervous. You’re much more likely to […]

When twelve-year-old Billy showed up in math class without his homework for the third day in a row, his teacher sent him to the vice principal’s office. The vice principal called Billy’s mom and dad. Mom and dad left work, drove across town, and squeezed into the administrator’s cubbyhole office. The three adults crowded over […]

Children of divorce have many feelings about the divorce and their parents. You may see or hear these problems, or your children may keep them from you, not wanting to let you know how they are really feeling. Children often have a sense of loss during and after a divorce. They may say or show […]

As intelligent and caring coParents, we have the knowledge and potential to turn the corner and change our cultures of blame into cultures of learning skills. We just need enough reasonable people to learn the skills – and teach them to the kids. These three big skills are: Flexible Thinking Managed Emotions Moderate Behaviors These […]

The differences in how children react to divorce and separation are due in part to their capacity for cognitive and moral understanding, their developmental stage and the makeup of their social lives. The other factor is the uniqueness of each child, their temperament and personality. For each stage there are vulnerabilities and opportunities. 1) Infants’ first and most important […]

Screenagers is a great film for coParents to learn about kids and their current addiction to technology. As a doctor, I urge all parents to go view this film and also study the signs that show an addiction. coParents should go and see this film with your preteen or teen if you haven’t already seen it. […]

The best coParents are warm, loving and have clear and consistent boundaries with their kids.  They only make rules that make sense. These parents give kids rules about not doing specific behaviors. Following the viewing of the film, Screenagers, and learning about kids’ addiction to technology, I thought of important advice for coParents to combat the […]

Teaching our children about feelings helps them to create a sense of self. Helping a child to discover themselves and the world around them, while building strength and confidence, teaches the child how to live in society with success. Kathy Eugster offers insight on this subject here on this page. There are basic steps coParents […]

All children have rights. This story by Dr. Robert Emery is a great guide for coParents. Divorced parents still must fulfill their responsibilities to their kids, and in my view, children should have rights in divorced families. Here is my Children’s Bill of Rights in Divorce. If you can give your children these freedoms, you […]

Consistency is really good for the child of coParents. Especially when the child has been on the journey of a divorce or has experienced some sort of trauma. Going through the parents’ divorce or trauma is a high level of change and leads to a possible potential discomfort with the parents. Especially if the parents […]